Magnus's nightmare
by TheGirlOfThorns
Summary: Magnus has a horrible nightmare- or rather, memory- about a past relationship, but then Alec is there to make him feel loved. Malec oneshot. Please give it a chance! M/M. Don't like, don't read.


**Hey everyone! So basically, I love Malec, and I love hurt/comfort, and I love Malec hurt/comfort, and so I decided to give it a go on my own. I hope it's okay, please review and let me know what you thought! **

_Her face was an oval, a glistening white pearl under a drape of long brown hair. Her hazel eyes glistened on the top of her face, her ruby red lipstick standing out against soft alabaster skin. The man remembered her this way, anyway- remembered th joy of her youth. As she grew older, and he remained young, she never grew less beautiful to him. She was his love, she was his heart, she was his everything. But now, staring into her eyes, it was like looking at the face of a stranger. He knew that it was difficult, being in a relationship with an immortal, but he knew it was just as hard if not harder being that immortal, watching all you love die eventually because that was the way the world worked._

"…_and that's why I have to leave you, Magnus." She told him this with absolute finality. He didn't even hear the first part of what she had been saying, he had known what was coming and was completely focused on what he was going to say. He had meant to tell her he understood, that it was okay, that he hoped that she had a good life, but in the end he couldn't do it. He wanted the same love as everyone else._

"_We've been together for thirty years, Katherine," he told her. He was trying to keep his voice level, but he could hear it cracking. "You knew what you were getting into before we became serious. You knew all this time that this was how it was going to be. You knew what I was…" he trailed off. He couldn't finish. His emotions were betraying him and it was showing. He had to be strong._

"_I thought it would be okay," she shifted uncomfortably. "I thought it would be fine for me, dating a monster. But it isn't. I can't do it, I don't want to do it." She looked down at the round and nervously played with her feet in her red boots. She loved those red boots in the store, he remembered. She loved them, and so he had bought them for her. He wanted her to be happy. But now…_

"_I'm not a monster." He kept his voice level and cold. He had been called those names so many times, but every time it felt like a stab wound. Monster. Freak. Abomination. Only ten times worse coming from someone who was supposed to love you._

"_Magnus…" she kept her voice gentle. Her love was pretend. All pretend, he thought, but that didn't stop his rush of affection. "You know what I mean. I need to find somebody to spend my life with."_

"_I am somebody."_

"_Somebody real."_

"_I am real."_

"_No… ah… I need someone whose love is… worth something. I don't know how to explain it, Magnus…"_

"_Don't tell me that my love is worthless. Don't tell me that me giving you my heart was me giving you nothing." His anger was growing. He needed to calm down._

"_It… is though. Look at you. This has been a waste of thirty years."_

"_Don't call a life with me a waste of time. I've been nothing but good to you. I'm somebody."_

"_Somebody serious. I want a serious relationship, Magnus. Not someone to have fun with."_

_That's when he exploded. "Fun? You think that this relationship was a joke? This relationship was not a joke. I loved you. I gave you my heart. I was good to you. I gave you everything you asked for, everything you wanted, and in the end, you treat me as if I'm some kind of toy. I'm not a toy." He could feel that he was losing his cool, but he couldn't stop. He was in such terrible pain, pain not only because of this woman, but pain because these are things that he had been told in the past, things that everyone believed about him. "I'm sick of people like you using me for what you want and then throwing me away like I'm some kind of garbage. I am a person, just like you. And I loved you. I loved you so much. Please give me your key. Please, get out of my house. I'll box all your stuff- stuff I bought for you- and have it shipped tomorrow. I hope that the next person you meet, you treat with respect." He was going to cry. He knew it, but he had to get this woman out the door first. "Please leave. Goodbye." She turned away from him and walked out the door and his life forever. Magnus, he heard a voice. Magnus. Magnus._

"Magnus, Magnus! Please. Please wake up. You're scaring me. Magnus?" He opened his cat's eyes to look at the face beside him. Blueberry eyes filled with worry on pale skin, looking at him with more love than he ever imagined possible. "Shh, love, it's okay, I'm here now, you're safe."

Alec pulled Magnus close to himself and held him tightly to his body. "Are you okay?"

Magnus tried to answer, but couldn't find the words. He then realized that he was crying- Alec's chest was wet with his tears, and shaking. He tried to stop his body from shaking, took deep breaths, but couldn't somehow stop, so he ust buried his face into Alec's chest so he wouldn't see his tears. Alec just held onto him tighter, letting him sob into his arms.

"Magnus, baby, it's okay. Do you want to talk? You look like you had an awful nightmare."

"Not a nightmare," Magnus managed to whisper. "A memory." He was aware of Alec's fingers running gently and lovingly through his hair, Alec's breath on the side of his neck as he brought his face closer to the other man. He was aware of Alec, his Alec, his love, near him, and how scared he was that one day he, too, would leave him, how scared he was that a creature like him could never truly be loved no matter what he did in life because he was simply a toy as his former girlfriend had told him.

"What happened?"

Magnus sat quietly, considering whether or not he should tell Alec what happened. Since they had gotten back together, Alec had been better about hearing about his past love life, but he got the feeling that he wasn't too happy about all the people he had been with anyway.

Alec, he thought, must have sensed his hesitation, because he said, "Magnus, you know how much I love you. You can tell me anything. It's okay. I want you to stop hurting."

"It's… about a past love. Is that alright?" Alec nodded and stroked Magnus's upper back with his thumb.

"You can tell me anything, especially if it will help you to not hurt. I don't like seeing you cry, but you should let it out so that you don't have to hold it in."

Magnus nodded and started to explain. "I gave her everything. She hurt me and threw me away. She told me that I, I was a monster, and that I was a toy- and that… that my feelings were worthless." His body shook harder against Alec's and he couldn't stop it. "And she left me. I gave her everything, and it turned out I was just a game for her! Why… why can't I be loved correctly? What did I… what did I do wrong? I'm… different…" he managed to choke out. Alec clutched him tighter. "I'm different and I'm so much less valuable than everyone else! I'm a… a waste of time…" he started to cry harder.

"Magnus," Alec said steadily. "Look at me." He pulled his boyfriend's head up by the chin so that his cat eyes met blue ones. "You are anything but a waste of time. I love you so much, I love you more than I could even imagine love existing. You're not a monster, not a toy, but a beautiful person that I could never imagine my life without." Every sentence, every break in his speech, Alec peppered Magnus's face and neck with kisses to show him that he was loved. "She was terrible to tell you that your feelings were worthless. That isn't true at all. I would do anything to make you stop hurting right now, Mags. Anything." More kisses. "You are the most important, kindest, most amazing person in the whole entire world. Don't ever let anybody tell you differently. I love you more than anything."

Magnus was quiet, but realized that while silent tears were still falling down his face, the shaking and the sobs had come to a halt.

"Okay, Magnus? You're perfect. I love you."

It took a little while, but eventually Magnus stopped crying. He loved Alec, Alec who always made him feel special and important, Alec who made him feel like he was worth the world.

"You're beautiful, Mags. You're worth more than everything to me, you know that?"

Magnus smiled and pulled Alec tightly to him. He knew.

"I love you, Alexander."

"I love you, too."

And they were safe.


End file.
